we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Who died my cat blue again?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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