dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
