I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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