i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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