What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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