I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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