I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
