Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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