i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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