Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Farmville is her only friend.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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