some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
vagina is talking i cant
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
