bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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