Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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