Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
