just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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