I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
