So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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