Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
