She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
