It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize