I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
"it" just moved
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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