the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
