i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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