do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My dick has a subreddit
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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