You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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