i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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