i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
