I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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