Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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