Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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