I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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