i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
