I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
