just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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