pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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