she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
