what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
