yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
