South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
