New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
