i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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