Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
