What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
