I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
