so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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