her facebook's as public as her vagina
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
