Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
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If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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