Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
