worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize