Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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