I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
