Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
