he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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