i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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