i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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