She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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