just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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