She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize