You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
