Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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